| Tuesday, February 15th, 2005 |
| 9:23 pm |
imakemoneya n d t h a t s i t !
Half a glass of wine sitting there, evaporated. That sounds so corny but it actually looks so cool. Crumbs in the bed. Toothpaste that tastes kinda like licorice. Firestarter. Lime slices. I smell like oysters. this is lena since you've probly all forgotten by now Current Mood: achyCurrent Music: Mr. Al Green |
| Sunday, August 8th, 2004 |
| 9:32 pm |
i havent updated this in almost 2 years
im sticking to my chair every particle of matter belonging to me is about to be confined to an extremely small area...as compared to its old space where it was able to run free. Now my bedroom buzzes when you turn on the light. there are strangers living in my house playing bad 90's R&B. Toni Braxton? i managed to give myself an allergy attack by rubbing a magazine page all over me. i bring these things on myself. the guy sitting next to me on the train the other day was jerking off under his newspaper...that, i did not bring on myself. my meningitis shot swelled to the size of a silly putty egg. is that bad? i'm moving to Philly in 17 days. That's an update of the recent...fill in the blanks of the last 2 years... Current Mood:  lovedCurrent Music: Muffled Toni B. |
| Tuesday, November 12th, 2002 |
| 5:33 pm |
Sitting in cozy house with Laura drinking tea. I miss things like this. But we have the whole night to look through all her makeup and clothes and shit except we're pretty sure she doesn't have any drug addictions (dammit) Which means basically we're just gonna borrow her shit and sleep in her house. I think half my face is paralyzed. I'll see if it gets worse. I'll make sure to update on that but if I start laughing crooked I guess it will be self explainatory. |
| Monday, November 4th, 2002 |
| 12:06 pm |
But im losing too...
Magical Mushrooms can make the world really beautiful. The way the clouds float past the buildings makes it seem as if everything is spinning. They dissolve the tension and anger in your life and resolve problems. They also give you all these wonderful things and more for one day and then leave you the next day feeling like a big puddle of puss. inFLUenza has infected my body, ruined my weekend and made my mouth swollen and sore. Aside from the fluids flowing in every direction it also stirs emotions. Reading other peoples' thoughts especially if they're positive usually puts a smile on my face but I found myself getting aggitated at the fun everyone was having while I was convincing myself I was on my death bed. In other words Im bitter now. But last night it hit me in the soft spot. I was kept awake for hours thinking about what I could say, if anything to somehow make you see. What could anyone, including you, do to make you stop. Im disappointed. I want to ignore it and continue to be able to see the real you but these negative things keep getting in the way. That's what it does. Ignorant, disgusting, gullible, pathetic, selfish, desperate You lose. |
| Tuesday, October 29th, 2002 |
| 10:08 pm |
BonelessKid: "Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs." |
| Wednesday, October 2nd, 2002 |
| 9:43 pm |
I miss two things now...
-Actually raised my hand in class today -Realized that me never listening in spanish=I have an essay to write that I didn't know about in a different language -Drew a picture of Jesus -Scared a bunch of laguardia girls by telling them that boys watch them thru the vents in the bathroom stalls -Stuck up stickers for the demonstration on sunday (east meadow around 96th &5th in central park 1-5 pm) -Smoked blunts w/ Whitney n Cory -Lost the big purple bong -Stared at that picture for waaaay too long cause your face still somehow fades from my memory Who's day beats mine? Current Mood:  amusedCurrent Music: Daycare Swindlers |
| Sunday, September 29th, 2002 |
| 6:41 pm |
Happy late birthday, Ari, I hope you had fun and you should know that my mom is really fond of you now. Luca woke me up at 10 this morning but i went back to sleep and woke up at 4. waste of a day. Except I talked to that girl I love who makes me laugh by singing mainstream rap in a high pitched little asian lady voice. She's right, I dont call her enough. It's not even October and I already miss the summer. I miss Whitney coming to my house to smoke blunts. I miss getting enough sleep. Ima go hook up my cd burner cause Whitney isn't here to smoke a blunt with me and I am tired from not getting enough sleep ever. |
| Saturday, September 21st, 2002 |
| 9:40 pm |
damn some people are bitter assholes... |
| 9:13 pm |
virginity...
disappeared. ooh lala. Current Mood:  accomplished |
| Saturday, September 7th, 2002 |
| 2:49 pm |
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| Wednesday, September 4th, 2002 |
| 10:28 pm |
and I knew it would go fast...
Zonker made me play hopscotch with him today... The official end of the summer how motherfucking depressing. Why, oh why is the thought of you permanently engraved in my brain? Current Mood:  moody |
| Monday, September 2nd, 2002 |
| 3:40 pm |
My ears are still ringing
I had a lot of fun last night...its been a while since I've done that at a show. But now its the next day...and I'm very bruised/sore/aching and i feel kind of sort of like I want to crawl into a hole and chill there for a while. Current Mood:  nervousCurrent Music: can't hear a thing |
| Friday, August 30th, 2002 |
| 12:52 am |
Are booty calls inappropriate??
Im obsessed with the idea... I think I just need some. Please give me the courage to call him...hes just a stupid boy afterall. I feel like an idiot. |
| 12:00 am |
Atleast my organs stayed in place...
My mom gave me money to buy bras today...I bought a corset instead I got very dressed up and looked like fuckin madonna from the 80's (and a hooker coincidentally) and went to the "dance party" with Whitney, Anne, Win, Kate, Libby and Lilith It was a bar full of 20-something people who liked to stare a lot especially at the weird looking, half naked teenagers... and no dance party. Apparently there was some dj that came in on Thursdays and played ska or something... but altogether a letdown. So we chilled out at some hipster coffee shop and complained about no sex. Good enough. Current Mood:  disappointedCurrent Music: Nirvana |
| Wednesday, August 28th, 2002 |
| 10:54 pm |
Is it true that memories always go to music?
The smoke coming out of the last stall...no toilet paper ever The most unfair teachers that hate you for no reason... Waking up early...just to fall asleep every period Dealing with fuckin herbs who can't seem to understand why you're eyes are bloodshot and you forget what you're saying mid-sentence... Crack burgers Homework that no one does Ripping pages from textbooks to take phone messages on An avalanche of all the shit in your locker Hearing loss from the rent-a-cops shouting in your ears with a megaphone...kicking you off of public property A notebook full of drawings and a head empty with knowledge. School can suck it. Current Mood: pessimisticCurrent Music: the raindrops fallin on my window... |
| Monday, August 26th, 2002 |
| 2:58 pm |
dust bunnys eat taco bell
Sometimes I have to stop and wonder what the fuck is wrong with me. Am I so desperate that I look around and settle for what is easy to get? Or is it those assholes around me that leave their houses just to weasle their way into little girls' pants? This weekend was an eye opener. My best friends are all around now and the experiences get sicker and more fun. I've never felt older. Being 15 sucks. But I also met a boy... who made me promise to not call the cops on him. love lena |
| Saturday, August 17th, 2002 |
| 12:59 pm |
The guy I "hooked-up with" last night
I could not tell you the color of his shirt/eyes/hair/skin/pants/anything else. Don't know what the fuck he looked like at all, except from what laura said...i should be happy about not remembering. I'm very not happy. Smoked my first dippy last night (and one too many after the first one) and managed to become retarded within like 5 minutes. All I remember is not knowing if I was me, feeling a tongue in my mouth but not knowing what it was, telling Laura I love her a lot, giving my number to this kid Jasper who gave me a dippy, forgetting what sex was and if i had ever had it and if it was bad to do in front of 500 ravers at a skate rink, having to be in the fucking train station for like 2 hours cause the motherfucking trains NEVER come at 5 in the morning when you're too fucked up to even know what a train is. And then Laura turned into the worried parent I [unfortunately] know so well. Sorry about that sweetie. I dont know what im supposed to feel about last night. I dont know if i should ignore the fact that I look really cracked out and I can't type at all...that its taking me like an hour just to write this fucking entry. Or should I dwell on the fact that I made $90 last night that I dont even know if I have cause i was so fucked up it could have been robbed from me in like a second. Or that for the first time in my life I didn't know what the difference between standing up and sitting down was... wait...aren't we just all floating???? |
| Friday, August 16th, 2002 |
| 6:13 pm |
WHAT did you say?
Since I got back from the beach... I hear the ocean wherever I go I yell cause I can't hear myself speak My skin is peeling off everywhere I can just picture the sizzling...fried brain cells that are trying to survive but just keep suffocating. Ugh. |
| Wednesday, August 14th, 2002 |
| 9:49 pm |
my relaxation was stolen away by the city's exsistence
Back home. Being on the beach for three days makes you realize that there is too a place where time goes slower than in the city. Saw a meteor shower. Got smoked down by a rich kid. Got sunburnt. Got pots n pans stolen. Rubbed aloe on Laura's burning back. Smoked a lot of weed. Slept a lot of sleep. Who can beat my week? |
| Saturday, August 10th, 2002 |
| 3:50 pm |
no hiding in dumpsters/sleeping on the street this time...
Can't play manhunt tonight....stupid shit to do. It makes me sad but then again...I don't really PLAY usually i just kinda...sit. Damn smokers lungs... erg. I lost my mickey mouse bottle opener to Sam last night in a game of um...i forget the name. But I'm glad it's in the hands of someone who will use it now. I love those boys. |
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burntliketoast's journal
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